Oh the stories we tell . . .

One of the most incredible things that Life Coaching has taught me is to distinguish between the story I tell myself and the facts of my life.  This is one of the main purposes of having a coach, someone to be neutral and offer perspective  as they help you challenge the stories in your life..  

You see, it is sometimes hard to believe that the facts of our lives do not hurt or impact us. It is the story or the thinking we attach to these facts that create the feelings we have.  Brooke Castillo, (Master LIfe Coach) uses the example of someone dying.  This may have happened days before you learn of it.  At the moment they die, you could be laughing and having fun.  It is only when you learn of the fact that the person you cared about died, that you feel the loss.  Why?  When you learn of the fact (that the person died) you attach a story (thoughts) and this is what causes your pain. 

When we realize that our minds and thoughts cause our feelings, we can be much more in control of our emotional lives.  It doesn’t mean we won’t choose to be sad when someone dies, because we most likely will.  But it does mean we can decide not to be mad when something much less significant happens in our lives.  Things like, stresses at work, raising kids, friendships, and relationships with family - we have a lot more control than we think.

Identifying patterns, stories and beliefs that we use in our every day life takes perspective.  It is so much easier with an outside perspective.  This is truly the most useful purpose of a coach.  Once you learn how to challenge the thoughts that create the stories, you get to take charge of your emotional life.  You decide how you want to feel, what you want to accept, how you want to live.  

It is incredibly powerful work and  I love being a part of it.  

Let me know if you want to learn more… www.knielsencoaching.com